You got my back?

The relationship between a Platoon Leader and Platoon Sergeant is incredibly delicate. Typically, the PL has only been in the Army from 1 day- 2 years and the PSG has been in the Army a minimum of probably 12 years. The vast difference in experience is incredible. But, the PL is in charge of the PSG. The PL rates the PSG and can directly affect their promotions, awards, and just overall career progression. The amount of leadership that is put on the Baby LT’s shoulders is incredible, but I guess that is why they are leaders. They are leaders from day one. Soldiers’ lives and welfare is in their hands on day one. Lessons are typically learned the hard way, there doesn’t seem to be a “let’s ease into this” attitude- at least in my experience.

So, my type of leadership is that the PSG is my counterpart.Which we are. There are things that the PSG does to accomplish the mission, and there are things that the PL primarily does to accomplish the mission and therefore, the mission is accomplished together. That is the ideal model. I do not believe that there are ‘NCO’ lanes and there are ‘Officer’ lanes- they are all leader lanes. This viewpoint is not popular in the military. Granted, there are lanes that the NCO will typically walk on, and lanes that are typically filled with Officers, but there are several times in the realm of leadership that these lanes are co-mingled. As long as the mission is accomplished in its most effective and professional manner, then all is well.

Not until I moved to this position as the Contracting Officer had I had the ‘ideal’ professional relationship with my PSG. Though my current counterpart is not my PSG, and I am not his PL, the relationship mirrors that of platoon leadership. We have one Soldier who he primarily takes care of, but that does not mean I do not care for the Soldier or follow up on him. I do not rate my counterpart, but I do not think that would make much of a difference if I did. The only difference is we would sit down quarterly and discuss his work performance and as far as I am concerned, it is outstanding.

The relationship between the PL and the PSG is so vitally important. It can make or break you. It can either cause you to dread going to work or the relationship can assist you throughout the daily madness. And thankfully, my counterpartand I have that second option. The daily madness that we deal with is unbelievable, but we are each other’s confidant. We complain to each other, because sometimes that is the only thing we can say. We discuss professional development and how to deal with difficult leadership. We discuss life in general too, his family, my family, movies, music, cars, just life.

I have learned so much from him, which is also part of the ideal model of this dynamic of a relationship. I think a successful relationship requires both parties to be humble. The PL needs to be humble enough to learn from the NCO because of the experience that they have. The PSG needs to be humble enough to teach them and be content with the structure of the Army, thatis just the way it is. The Baby LT didn’t make the structure to where the 22 year old college graduate is in charge of the 37 year old war veteran with 6 tours under their belt.

So, thank you to my counterpart for having my back. It really is one of the best feelings to know that I can trust the person that I sit next to 12 hours of the day. To know that I can confide in you has really changed my jaded view on the Army. More importantly, thank you for showing me that the NCO’s I thought should exist, really do exist. Thank you for living up to your NCO creed and supporting me as I learn and grow. You have set the standard for the next NCO that I work with and I thank you for that firepower because now I can speak from experience, not just from the books. Thank you for correcting Soldiers for not doing the right thing, and thank you for reminding me that I am doing a good job. Thank you for reminding me on my days of weakness that I need to toughen up. Thank you for encouraging me to go get my Masters Degree, and making sure that mymilitary records are updated. I could go on and on with thanks but I will end it here--Thank you for making these last 6 months of the deployment far more bearable and even at times enjoyable as we laughed through the craziness. Thank you, SFC O’Neal.

PFC Williams, myself, and SFC O'Neal. 

A Hero of Mine

SPC Gardner- raise  your right hand and repeat after me.

“I, (state your name) (Shaun Gardner), do solemnly swear, that I will support and defend, the Constitution of the United States, against all enemies, foreign and domestic, and that I will bear true faith, and alleigiance to the same, and that I will obey the orders of the President of the United States, and the orders of the officers appointed over me, according to regulation, and the Uniform Code of Military Justice, so help me God.”

On July 4^th, 2013 on FOB Walton Afghanistan, SPC Gardner repeated these words after I said them in front of our Battalion. It is an officer who always enlists and/or reenlists someone and SPC Gardner requested that I be that officer for him. This was my first reenlistment that I had ever conducted and it truly was an honor. I am not sure there will be another day where a reenlistment is done on July 4^th because typically, we have that day off! J Thankfully, he gave me about a month in advance in order for me to memorize the oath. It isn’t required by any means, but it feels more heartfelt that way. I practiced with SFC O’Neal and PFC Williams quite often that month and SPC Gardner and I practiced over and over again the day of and thankfully, we did great! I about stumbled on one of the lines, but I caught myself.

As we were standing in front of all these Soldiers taking this oath, my hand was shaking, and I was staring into his eyes and it hit me, right in the middle of the oath, that this is what a hero looks like. He is deployed to Afghanistan, away from his girlfriend, his family and friends and yet he is still taking an oath to serve additional years to our country. It is not easy over here. Do not get me wrong, we aren’t treated bad or anything like that, but it is hard to be away from families and just stuck here- but he has the strength, courage, and pride to say that he will continue to make this sacrifice for even more years than he has already given. Not many people can say they reenlisted a true here, on July 4^th, in Afghanistan and I am thankful I am blessed with this memory. Thank you, SPC Gardner, you are my hero!

 

 

Nature of the beast

My job is incredibly interesting, as I've stated several times in my little blog here. My counterpart, SFC O'Neal calls me a little city manager. It sure feels like it sometimes! If I were a betting woman, (which I'm not!) I would be able to bet that 5 out of the 7 mornings I go into work, there is someone waiting on me to help them, I have several missed calls and for sure countless emails. So, there isn't ever settling into the day or even the morning... It's waking up, putting the worn out uniform on, putting on my boots that are still too big for me, putting on the shades, cap and slinging my weapon around my shoulder.. And enjoying the 45 seconds of silence it takes to walk from my tent to work (and that's if there isn't anyone along the way)! 

Typically, I love my job. But on days like today, I struggled. One of these days, I'll try to document a typical day :) but, we have a water tank on the FOB that gives us running water to one of our main locations. Well, it has struggled to stay together the past few days. Pipes were busted, and then it was a pump. One of those problems where it is one thing after another. I have learned the mentality that it IS going to be okay. It'll get fixed, no sense in getting all upset over it. But most people don't see it that way. They want it fixed as soon as they get done complaining to me. The way I see it, we need to be thankful we have running water, period! It's not the only shower, it's just the most convenient shower. I understand convenience. I like it myself. But come on Soldier, we are in Afghanistan and it could always be worse. 

Sometimes, there are just more important things to be angry about. One of four showers having some problems just isn't one of them. First world problems in a third world country. So, stuff like this tends to get under my skin and naturally I'm the one that falls on sword because I am the representative for the contractors. It is the nature of the beast to assist with things that I see worthy, and even the ones I don't see why I have to jump through hoops to make happen. :) 

So, ahaha, magic! The showers are fixed now :) I took myself one, and put on a little bit of makeup because even in sunny Afghanistan, sometimes you have to make your own sunshine :) xoxo

Persecuted

I have struggled with how to write this particular blog for a few days now. I have been thinking about it, but I was not sure where to go with it, or really what to say that would be productive instead of just venting!

However, God opened my eyes today and I am so thankful to Him for it! Ever since high school, I have been persecuted/lied about for several different reasons. Things that I had not done, but was persecuted anyways. Though I am in the military, and a grown woman, these actions have not stopped. I guess I shouldnt expect them to stop. Silly me.

Now, I am not going into the details about the rumor, or the Soldier because of privacy. However, they are false. But, I had a Soldier come to me and ask to speak to me. Naturally, I said yes, of course. One, as a leader in the military, it is my responsibility to care for Soldiers. Two, it is my moral obligation as a Christian Soldier to care for Soldiers. We went to the gazebo we have on ground here, and we talked for about 2 hours about the struggles of his life.

He mentioned he knew there was something different about me; he hadn't spoken about his life in the past year; and he had never been as honest as he was with me- ever. I told him the reason he felt inclinded to speak to me was because of my love for Jesus, I had something he didnt have. For the following week- we would have dinner together, talking about going home; we would have lunch together and talk about Christian songs; or we would meet at our gazebo and talk about why God allows us to go through such hard things in life. We wouldnt have every meal together, or meet every night at the gazebo, but this one week turned into something to other people that was not true.

Now, initially I was so heartbroken people automatically assume the worst about me.

Quick vent>> There is not a pool of women in the military for me to hang out with. Two, I am not going to turn someone away. Three, it is not fair to me that if I eat lunch or dinner with someone, it is automatically the worst. Four, it makes me feel like beauty is a curse. Five, don't people have anything better to do than to monitor me?! Okay, I am done. <<

However, this Soldier said to me... "Ma'am, I want you to know that you have probably saved my life. You are the kindest, most good hearted person I have ever met." I wouldnt take back one second I spent with this Soldier to spare the rumors because I may have saved his life, through the grace of God. This Soldier is worth the rumors, the feelings of sadness and betrayal. This Soldier needed someone to listen to him, to not judge him, and to point him to the cross.

I gave this Soldier a Bible with highlighted verses about temptation, struggles, forgiveness, strength and courage. I gave this Soldier Christian songs to inspire and encourage him. I wrote this Soldier a prayer of strength to get him through his next few months. What have I done wrong? Nothing. But because the military can't handle a male and female hanging out together without it being something it isnt, it really has been a struggle. I thought we were in the military, grown individuals who can have adult conversations without having their name drug through the mud- my bad. (Whoops, that was another small rant!)

But you know what my precious people- God is good. All the time, God is good! (Right mom?) :) As I was reading my Bible today, I came across Matthew 5: 11-12. I did not search for it, it just happened to be where I was at in my readings today.

"God blesses you when people mock you and persecute you and lie about you and say all sorts of evil things against you because you are my followers. Be happy about it! Be very glad! For a great reward awaits you in Heaven. And remember, the ancient prophets were persecuted in the same way."

So, if you think about him today prayer warriors- pray for him. Pray for him to feel the presence of God. He needs to know he is loved, forgiven, and he has the strength to do the right thing through the power of God. God does not forsake His people and He will not forsake you. I have prayed that God will overflow his cup with courage and strength. I pray that God will put the perfect people in his life to bring him to a place of knowing You God, and a place of happiness. God, You are a good and merciful God. I know that You will protect him if He seeks you. But Father, I ask that You just intervene when he is feeling tempted. In the name of Jesus- take the temptation away. Sometimes we are not strong enough to turn away, but I am praying on his behalf God! For we know prayer is the strongest of all. I am praying that Your promise of hope and future is fulfilled in his life. I place this son of Yours into Your hands God. There isnt a better place for him to be- and whether or not he remembers it or not- he needs You. Help him to feel and know that there are several people across this world praying for him, encouraging him and lifting him up to You.

And thank you God for showing me these verses today- You are slowly putting the life back into me. You saw the ultimate sadness I was feeling. You heard my cries, You caught my tears, You saw my empty hands that I tried to lift to You. Thank You for giving me another day, even when I didnt care to have another day. I love You God, thank You for loving Your children and making everything new.

My Prayer at Church this Morning

I was asked by the Chaplain's Assistant to say the opening prayer this morning. I was up until 3am this morning, with a heavy heart about things happening here at FOB Walton. I wrote this prayer with a heavy heart, hoping it would help someone else too.

Father God, I come before you as Your daughter. I first want to thank You for all You have done this far. Thank You for the safety, protection, security and the support of family and friends. I especially want to thank You for Your never-ending love, the undeserved grace, the mercy that we are unworthy of and the forgiveness that is as far as the east is from the west. One thing I know, no matter how perfect a person thinks they are, we are never good enough; but, how great a feeling to be loved unconditionally in spite of all of our failures and weaknesses.

May we humble ourselves to realize this so that we can learn to love others better, and point them to the cross. Also God, I would like to ask for Your full armor that is promised in Ephesians 6. I don’t know what Your beloved children have gone through this week, but You know this child has cried and poured her heart out to You. Some days I am so tired, and worn from the actions and words of people. This is a spiritual warfare that I am going through Father. Some days I hold empty hands to You, with tears flowing, and my heart is heavy with the work it takes to keep on breathing. My soul is crushed by the weight of this world, so I am crying out with all that I have left. Let us see redemption win, let us know the struggle ends. You God can mend a heart that is frail and torn. You are a God whose love tears me up inside, and then it puts me back together again.

I pray that You give us the strength to share Your love. The devil is sending people to try to put out Your flame in me, but I’ve read the end of Your Word and WE WIN! Praise God for Your promises in Jeremiah 29:11 that we have hope and a future; and Philippians 4:13 that we can do all things through You because You give us strength.

I pray that when we are hurt by the sadness in this world, that we only take that opportunity to draw closer to You and not turn our hearts and spirit to bitterness. There is victory because You are my God! I know You hear the thoughts of Your children and I just ask God, that you provide for them as Your Word promises. Hear their cries, praises, hurts, and needs. Help them to hear, see, or feel Your answer. And if the door isn’t opening, just stand in the hallway and be still, for we know You are God. I love You God, thank for making all things new. In Your perfect and Holy name I pray, Amen.

 

 

 

Vacation from 'Home'

Vacation from “Home”

Let me just start off saying that I absolutely love my job! I wish that this job was something that I did all the time. I enjoy it so much because it is different. The job is never stagnant. There is something new happening all the time. I receive problems all day long and I see them as opportunities to learn something new, and to help people out in whatever way that I can. I really enjoy it. I hear random things all day, and several times I have said, “You know, I have never dealt with this issue before but let me see what I can find out for you!” And, then I start the mission of figuring it out- love it!

So, I was presented with an opportunity a week or so ago. We are in the process of building up this camp that we are living in order to accommodate more Soldiers to live here. We are also in the process of a diplomatic move, and working side-by-side with the Lithuanian Army and the Engineers are building a compound for them. So, in order to do this, we need supplies. We need materials and tools. The Engineers are absolutely outstanding and have been able to do most of the work, but considering the fact that we are in Afghanistan, they don’t have everything they need right in front of them. So, I was told that another location was closing down and they were willing to allow me to take whatever I would like. So, instead of just me going, I took two subject matter experts (an electrician and plumber)- outstanding guys!

We started our adventure early that morning- and sat for 3 hours as we waited for the convoy to show up to pick us up. We were split up into three different trucks, and I was in the front truck. The Soldiers I rode with were the Military Police (MPs) and they were very good to me. They hooked up a headset for me so that I could listen to everything that was happening. As we drove along, they would tell me things about what we saw. We saw Afghan police stations, farmers, a farmers market type deal, a canal that runs through the city, and the location they drop our black water (gross!) We arrived safe and sound, and it was good to arrive on site. As soon as we got on ground, we walked to the headquarters building, let them know we were on their COP and asked where we would be staying. We dropped our stuff off in our rooms (and my room was nicer than the one I have here on Walton) and then we went and had lunch.

This COP is experiencing the downsizing, and this was the first day it had taken affect. The change was the civilians were no longer going to be maintaining their FOB (the MWR, the DFAC etc). So, MRE’s were for lunch! It wasn’t bad, I had tuna and we watched TV as we ate. While we were eating, the DFAC Soldiers found out that the two guys I was with were Engineers and began asking them to build them something! SGT Gabrielle and SGT O’Conner said they knew that was going to happen, it was only a matter of time. But, being the good guys they are, they took the specs for the door the Soldiers were asking them to build and said they would be back after dinner.

After lunch, we went to the DynCorp compound to being looking at their excess material and started saying what we wanted, and what we didn’t have a need for. This is an example of where the government wastes so much money. If someone didn’t claim these items, they would be sent higher, and either be sent to another FOB (hopefully) or be destroyed. We are talking about brand new tools in boxes, connexes full of construction materials, water heaters, and in some really sad cases, 50inch TVs for example! But, that’s another matter! J So, we inventoried and selected 4-5 connexes of items.

Following that, SGT Gabrielle, SGT O’Conner and myself went to their little gazebo and just sat. The breeze was blowing, it was warm but not too warm, drank some cold water and they smoked cigarettes and we just relaxed. We don’t really get that time here on Walton. There is just too much happening. We then decided to meet up for dinner a couple hours later. The guys went and took a nap, and I went to the MWR and went to klove.com and downloaded the latest, greatest Christian songs. I just don’t have that free time at Walton- so it was amazing to get some new music! We then met up for dinner at the DFAC. DynCorp had ordered about 3 weeks of food, but the Soldiers had to cook it. It was SO delicious. We had cordon bleu, vegetables, little cheesecakes and of course, Dr. Pepper! After that, I went and showered and had the best shower I have had the entire deployment. The water pressure was outstanding, it was hot and the shower curtains even had little flowers on them J It is absolutely the small things. I then went to the DFAC and hung out with the guys as they built this door for the DFAC. We then proceeded to watch “A beautiful mind” – phenomenal movie! But, we didn’t finish it because they were too tired J

I then got to spend some awesome time with my friend, Jayni! She lives on that COP! She works night shift at the Entry Control Point, so there we were, a couple girls, sitting in the Entry Control Point with little cheesecakes, soda and having girl talk J We were up talking until 0130, and it was much needed. It is so incredibly cool to have such a close female friend deployed with you, and it brings you back to home, even just for a few hours. Just for a few hours, things are normal and the way they are supposed to be. It was wonderful.

We got up the next day, the guys got a gator and picked up all my kit and bags so I didn’t have to carry it, and I got breakfast and we made our way to the convoy brief. Convoy briefs talk about any significant actions the past few days, the mission, battle drills, and the route. We then kitted up, got into our trucks and headed ‘home.’ This crew wasn’t near as hospitable as the first, if I do say so myself! J But, we made it back safely and that is all that matters. As we drove, I watched the crazy traffic outside, the vehicle in front of us, and the gunner as he continually scanned his sector. These Soldiers (no matter how kind or hospitable they are or aren’t) are daily risking their lives. They daily put their bulletproof kits on, scan their sectors, and drive to the next mission. May God continue to protect them!

Shurandam is where we went, and it was small. They only had internet in the MWR, there wasn’t much happening and it was incredibly relaxing. It was a vacation away from ‘home.’ We didn’t have emails to check, bosses to answer to, questions to answer, or phones to answer. It was peaceful. We didn’t want to leave. But, every new day is a day closer to our real home. Happy for this little adventure I took with these two awesome Soldiers.

Dad's are Awesome :)

Today, I just wanted to write about the precious men who have been outstanding Father’s in my life. In the darkness, there is light! And the light here is 4 dads! I love you all and thankful for each of you!

First off, my daddy. We have had our ups and downs the past few years, but the love that a father and daughter have for each other is strong enough to make it work. I am thankful that we were able to see each other before I deployed, and we have talked very often since I have been deployed. I am thankful for the song ‘Forgiveness’ by Matthew West because it gave me the courage to try again with our relationship, and here we are, almost a year later, going strong. Thank you for your help and understanding while I have been out here. If anyone understands what I am going through, it is you which is why I am so thankful that we have mended our relationship. I know that I can depend on you for help, advice and just to listen to me if I need to talk about anything happening here. I love you daddy, Baby Jessica.
Poppy- you have been the best husband for my mom, and a great father to me. Thank you for accepting me as your own. I am so thankful you were able to be there for so many of the special events in my life, those moments will never come again for me and I am happy you were there for them! Thank you for supporting Justin and I, and always being there for us.  You are going to be such a great father for little sister Madalyn- she is so blessed to have such Godly parents raising her. You are such a Godly inspiration to me, and to Justin. You always have been since those years and years ago when I first met you for Falls Creek! How exciting to see God’s plan work out.  I love you, Poppy! Happy Fathers Day! Love, Baby Girl.

Marty- you are an awesome Father-in-Law! I am so thankful to have you in my life! I am thankful I married Justin and I inherited such an outstanding family! I want to say thank you for everything that you did to raise Justin! You have been such an influence in his life and we are both so thankful for you. Thank you for all the lake trips where I learned to love the lake life. Thank you for helping Justin take care of our babies while I have been away. I know that they stress you out and make a mess, but you still offered to take care of them and that meant a lot to me when I heard that! I love and miss you! Love, your daughter-in-law!

Donnie Jack- I am thankful that I have two father-in-laws in my life!  That just means a bigger family and that is awesome! I am thankful for you! I enjoy going up to the mountain to shoot guns and ride the 4-wheelers. It is always an adventure whenever we go up there, that is for sure! We always leave with some kind of a story to tell! I am not sure if I am the daughter-in-law you dreamed for your son, but I am sure trying to make him happy and be everything that he deserves to have. I look forward to seeing you again. I love and miss you!  Love, your daughter-in-law!