Yesterday and the night before yesterday was a very rough
day for me. Prepare for a rant.
---The night before last night, Justin and I got into our
first argument since I had been gone. They are bound to happen, we are
thousands of miles apart from each other, we can’t see each other and we have
to solve the problem through texting, which hardly ever works out. That
distress I felt from that argument spilled into the next day. I had my first
patient that I needed to MEDEVAC, and I had never used this new system before
that I am required to use. I did everything correct, except one thing. This one
thing was very small and it did not impede the Soldier from being MEDEVACed,
but it still bothered me that I made a mistake. Then, we had a lockdown
procedure for a lost sensitive item, and that was just chaos. I received
different guidance from two different individuals, and that drives me crazy. We
do what the first person said, then the second person says no, its going to be
like this, so then we get to do it again. And then, I hate being talked to like
a child. I went to college, I have a degree and two minors, and you don’t need
to talk to me like a child. Until I prove myself incompetent, respect my rank
and position and I will get the job done. People here treat me like I am burden
to seek help when I do not know, and I don’t like that feeling either. These
are issues I have struggled with for about a year now, and its not getting any
better.----
I do not want this blog to turn into a complaining center
for me. I want this blog to allow you to understand my life here, without
giving up too much information that may or may not get me in trouble. That is
why some of this stuff is so vague, only those who know me know me really well
know who I am talking about.
SO! With all that being said let me try and learn something
from this. My momma Rita wrote me a letter and she said, Stupid people are
going to ask you to do stupid things, just do them because you know its not
worth the fight. HAHA! Made me laugh. But, it is so true. I read a devotion
this morning and the verse was,
“May the God of
patience and comfort grant you to be like-minded toward one another, according
to Christ Jesus, that you may with one mind and one mouth glorify the God and
Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.” Romans 15:5-6
I need to remember this verse when I begin to feel myself
getting upset and/or irritated. I don’t want this deployment to drive a wedge
between my husband and I or between my family and I due to lack of
communication. I want this deployment to bring us all closer. I must remember
that Justin’s weaknesses are my strengths, and my weaknesses are his strengths.
God intended that to be so. We all have
times, days, weeks, maybe even months of frustrations, irritations, grudges..
but we must pray, seek God’s strength and grace to help push us through those
times and once we reach the other side, God willing, we are a stronger
individual. God does not put us through something that He does not KNOW we can
handle. God would not put our marriage through this deployment if He thought we
couldn’t make it.
Father God, I ask that you give me patience when I am weak
and move to be angry too quickly. I ask that you help me to remember that
weaknesses of others will be my strengths, and remind me that I can bring them
through whatever they are going through because You have blessed me with what
they are needing. I know that there are many times in my life where I will need
others, and when I am weak, they will be strong. Please help me to not be so
tough on myself about my job, and there is a first for everything. And maybe
even seconds and thirds! J
I love You God, and I thank You for your countless blessings. My sweet husband
is my number one blessing and I will forever think so, even in times of
frustration. I love you God, so much. I pray that in the future, I will come to
You for your grace and patience. In Your precious and Holy Name I pray, Amen.
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